SERMON: “To Marry, or Not to Marry: Part 2” (1 Cor. 7:36–40)
“To Marry, or Not to Marry: Part 2”
(1 Cor. 7:36–40)
Series: “1 Cor: Holiness from Messes” #27 Text: 1
Corinthians 7:36–40
By: Shaun Marksbury Date: May
3, 2026
Venue: Living Water Baptist Church Occasion: AM Service
Introduction
Marriage can be a difficult decision for many reasons, which
is why we noted last time that it’s important to seek godly counsel. Yet, couples are sometimes worried that the
pastor or counselor will tell them not to get married. That rarely happens — only in cases of clear sin,
such as an unlawful divorce or an unequal yoking of believer and unbeliever. Still, so the couple can say their vows with
their eyes wide open, they must hear of any issues facing them and learn to
keep God first, which is usually the bulk of premarital counseling.
Paul is giving candid counsel to the Corinthians. Last time, we saw that Paul is warning the unmarried
Christians there that, due to a present crisis, it would be better to pause any
wedding plans. Such advice would have
been very difficult for them to consider, as we might imagine. The one grace is that Paul, while using
Spirit-given wisdom, isn’t making it a hard rule for believers to follow — we
simply take the lesson to consider our present issues.
As we finish this passage, we’re seeing the perfect
conclusion for that thought as well as the rest of this chapter. Paul is rounding out his principle that it’s better
for all the Corinthians to remain as they are.
(He gives us lessons about contentment in the Lord, then, too.) He’s applying this principle to people who
are already engaged, and because of all manner of expectation, waiting may seem
impossible.
Now, before we can dive into this text, we must do some
hermeneutics together. This is a confusing
section, with the translations divided in how to handle it. By looking at the context, though, it should
become clear what Paul is saying. To be
transparent from the start, I’ll confess that we will disagree with brothers we
love and respect, such as John MacArthur[1] and
the Legacy Standard Bible translation committee. It is okay for friends to disagree, though,
as long as we’re being faithful to the text.
Paul’s advice is not the most romantic here, but it is
practical. While marriage is good, it is
sometimes better to remain single, as we’ll see with two examples. First, it’s okay but not always best to marry
(vv. 36–38); those who are virgins have never married, but they may not find
marriage to be a better state. Second,
it’s okay but not always best to remarry (vv. 39–40); those who lost their
spouses may not have the blessedness they seek from remarriage. Let’s spend time on the first point to set
the stage.
First, It’s Okay but Not Always Best to Marry (vv. 36–38)
But if any man
thinks that he is acting unbecomingly toward his virgin [daughter], if
she is past her youth*, and if it must be so, let him do what he wishes, he
does not sin; let her* marry. But he who
stands firm in his heart, being under no compulsion, but has authority over his
own will, and has decided this in his own heart, to keep his own virgin [daughter],
he will do well. So then both he who
gives* his own virgin [daughter] in marriage does well, and he who does
not give* her in marriage will do better.
How do we understand this?
One of the difficulties we have here is that we don’t know what the
Corinthians asked Paul. This is a bit
like reading other people’s mail in that regard![2] Yet, we can see that there was a concern
about the virgins in the Corinthian church community, and Paul began addressing
that back in v. 25.
Another part of the confusion comes from our culture. Instead of two people debating marriage
because their feelings and passions are becoming stronger toward one another, today,
we have people living together and deciding later whether they want to call
themselves married or not. Moreover, it’s
only been more recent in human history that two people would make such choices
apart from family and community input; it was more common for families to
arrange marriages, not to mention the complications that slavery brought into
the discussion. We live in a much more
libertine age, so it’s difficult to place mentally ourselves within this
historical context.
Yet, we must strive to do that if we’re to understand this
text. You’ll notice the LSB supplies the
word “daughter” three times (all translators do this sometimes for clarity, and
we’re thankful for translations like the LSB for highlighting these additions with
italics). The additions reflect a longstanding
interpretation of the text that dates through Calvin back to some of the church
fathers: Paul might be addressing a father who has vowed that his daughter
would remain a virgin for life because he thought it was right, and now he wonders
whether he should release her from that vow as she grows older. This “paternal” view fits the cultural reality
that fathers in both Jewish and Greco-Roman societies held primary authority
over their daughters’ marriages, and v. 38 does seem to talk about “giving” in
marriage.
Yet after careful study of the context, grammar, and flow of
the entire chapter, I don’t believe that best fits this passage for several
reasons. First, this view is built on
supposition, as there is nothing in this text about fathers or the making of
vows. Second, the end of v. 36 can be
better translated “let them marry” instead of “her,” meaning that there
is a spouse in view in this text (not just the virgin). Third, fathers wouldn’t be described as “having
virgins” in reference to their daughters; in Acts 21:9, there is a solid case
of four “virgin daughters,” and the text here makes better sense without adding
the word “daughter” if we don’t assume a father is being addressed.[3] Fourth, the paternal view isn’t the only one
considering the historical context of parental involvement, because the fathers
in this passage might be pressuring marriage, which would better fit the text. Fifth, the church is maybe four or five years
old; that’s not enough time for the false doctrine celebrating celibacy to
develop (cf. v. 1), for fathers to implement a vow of their daughter’s
perpetual virginity as a result, and for fathers to then develop
second-thoughts about the vow. I have a
few more reasons I’ll share in a moment.
Thus, it seems that there could be a better
understanding. Paul seems instead to be addressing
a man who is already engaged to a virgin.
As we noted last time, this would be a betrothal to an unmarried young
lady, so different translations render this “the virgin he is engaged to” (NIV)
or “his fiancée” (NLT). This view aligns
more naturally with v. 25, where Paul began speaking “concerning virgins.” Paul is keeping the focus here on the very
people the Corinthians were asking about: unmarried believers wrestling with
whether to proceed with marriage amid the present distress.
The plainer reading of the text better fits the
context. Consider the ESV rendering of v.
36 — “If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed,
if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them
marry — it is no sin.” That different
translation captures the plural “let them marry” and maintains a consistent
masculine subject throughout the paragraph.
It also matches what Paul said in the beginning of the chapter, that “because
of sexual immoralities, each man is to have his own wife” (v. 2), and that “if
they do not have self-control, let them marry, for it is better to marry than
to burn with passion” (v. 9). This is a betrothed couple thinking about
marriage and possible having struggles.
That brings us to another difficult phrase. In the LSB, it’s translated “past her youth.”
The phrase simply means “beyond the peak,”
and it can be masculine or feminine. That’s
why the ESV has a completely different take: “if his passions are strong” (that is, he is going past the point of
self-control).[4]
The NLT has that he “will inevitably give in to his passion.” This is one word in the Greek, and understanding
the subject is vital for interpretation, which is why there’s such a difference. Again, since the church isn’t that old yet, making
long engagements unlikely at this point, this probably is talking about the man’s
passions becoming overpowering, though it could be translated either way.
So, let’s walk through these verses with that understanding
in mind, applying Paul’s wisdom to our own day.
V. 36 has a man “acting unbecomingly toward his virgin.” He may be at risk of engaging in immoralities. Paul says, “If his passions are strong… and
it must be so, let him do what he wishes — he does not sin; let them marry.” This is not a command for everyone to remain
single.
Notice three important truths here. First, sexual desire is not shameful when
channeled through marriage, for Paul already said marriage is better than to
burn with passion (v. 9). Second, the
decision belongs to the couple; no external pressure from the Corinthian
“super-spiritual” crowd can or should override their conscience.[5]
Third, marriage is not second-class
Christianity.
In the next verse, Paul clarifies that this isn’t the only
option. He says, “But he who stands firm
in his heart, being under no compulsion, but has authority over his own will,
and has decided this in his own heart, to keep his own virgin, he will do
well.” Paul gives four qualifications to
emphasize the fiancée’s freedom and conviction: (1) a settled resolve in the
heart, (2) no external necessity or pressure, (3) self-control over his
desires, and (4) a clear, personal decision. In other words, there may be a man who has
weighed the present distress, counted the cost, and concluded that undivided
devotion to the Lord is the better choice for now.
Does that mean he breaks contract with his betrothed virgin? No! Remember
that Paul said in v. 26 that a man should remain as he is, going on in v. 27 to
say, “Are you bound to a wife? Do not
seek to be released. Are you released
from a wife? Do not seek a wife.” The terminology in that verse isn’t about marriage
and divorce, but about betrothal contracts.
So, here in v. 37, Paul says the man will “do well” to “keep” his
betrothed — honoring and protecting her, but postponing the wedding.
We get the conclusion of the talk of virgins in v. 38. Now, we’ve noted one particular
interpretation is better than what we have in the LSB translation, but the strength
of the LSB case is in this verse. The
term “give in marriage” is language that seems best suited to a father giving
away his daughter at the wedding, and that is its usual meaning.[6] However, we don’t have to read it that way,[7]
as Paul could have just chosen this word for grammatical reasons.[8] Again, since the chapter is focused on two
people marrying, and it is absent any concerns about Christian fathers or vows
concerning their daughters, this is best seen as a bound bridegroom deciding
whether to proceed with a scheduled marriage or delay it.
Both paths are good; one is simply better in light of the
present crisis. The “better” is not
moral superiority but situational wisdom, since marriage brings legitimate
cares and distractions (vv. 32–34). In a
season of heightened difficulty — whether persecution, famine, or upheaval — those
distractions can become heavy burdens. Yet
Paul never denigrates marriage itself. He
simply calls believers to count the cost and choose with eyes open to the
times.
What does this mean for us? First, if you are engaged, seek the Lord
together, not giving into overt cultural pressure, family expectations, your
own passions, or even well-meaning asceticism push you into or out of marriage.
Second, cultivate contentment in your
current station, following the apostle’s example (Phil. 4:11). Third, remember that the “present distress”
Paul spoke of was not permanent and may change over time.
Whether single, engaged, or married, our highest priority is
pleasing the Lord (v. 32). Considering
that, Paul returns to one other category before closing. Let’s consider that as we begin winding down
together:
Second, It’s Okay but Not Always Best to Remarry (vv. 39–40)
A wife is bound as
long as her husband lives; but if her husband has fallen asleep, she is free to
be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. But in my opinion she is happier if she
remains as she is. And I think that I
also have the Spirit of God.
This will be a bit easier of a point. Paul now turns to widows, who also need care.
He has already addressed them briefly in
verses 8–9; here he gives fuller counsel to close the discussion and, perhaps,
to continue his alternation between male and female addressees.[9] The language is straightforward and echoes
Romans 7:2, “For the married woman has been bound by law to her husband while
he is living, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law concerning
the husband.” So, Paul is consistently
calling marriage a lifelong commitment (allowable reasons for divorce aside).
Marriage is to be seen as such a binding covenant that only
death severs the bond. Paul uses the
beautiful Christian euphemism here of having “fallen asleep” for death.[10] This reminds us that, for believers, death is
not the end but a temporary rest until the resurrection (cf. 1 Thess. 4:13–18).
Death leaves behind bereaved loved ones
who are reminded of the sinful state of this world, but they need not think
they can never remarry for companionship again.[11]
Thus, Paul says the widow is therefore “free to be married
to whom she wishes.” By this, he means
that the Christian law will not be more restrictive than the Jewish and Roman
law (cf. Deut. 24:3, “if the latter husband dies”).[12] Just like those women who were abandoned by
their husbands, widows may remarry.
Yet Paul adds the crucial qualifier: “only in the Lord.” She must marry another believer. Unequally yoked marriages bring needless
heartache and compromise (2 Cor. 6:14). So, this principle applies not only to widows
but also to unwed virgins[13]
and all other believers considering marriage.
Even so, Paul offers another apostolic opinion, going back
again to v. 26. He says, in his opinion,
she “is happier if she remains as she is.” The word “happier” likely means more blessed,
more free from the troubles and distractions that inevitably accompany marriage
(vv. 28, 32–34). This isn’t a command
but wise counsel rooted in the same “present distress” that shaped the entire
chapter. A widow who has already known
the joys and sorrows of marriage may find greater freedom for kingdom service
without the responsibilities of a new household.[14]
Paul’s closing remark has a bit of humble authority, though
he also might have a touch of playful sarcasm, too.[15] He says, “And I think that I also have the
Spirit of God.” Some Corinthians
apparently prided themselves on their own “spirituality” and questioned Paul’s
guidance openly to others.[16]
Some other Corinthians considering
marriage might have thought they knew better than Paul as they read this
because they had the Holy Spirit.[17] So, with a touch of gentle irony, he reminds
them that his counsel is not merely human opinion; it is Spirit-led wisdom from
an apostle of Jesus Christ. The same
Holy Spirit who equips the married for their calling (v. 7) also equips the
single and the widowed for theirs. [18]
Conclusion
There are seasons and situations in which marriage, while
good and honorable, may not be the wisest choice because of the weighty
responsibilities it brings. For
instance, a law student buried in 100-hour weeks, a new parent navigating
sleepless nights, or a missionary in a dangerous field faces difficulty. Each must weigh whether the added
distractions of marriage would hinder wholehearted devotion to Christ.[19]
At the same time, Paul never pits marriage against
singleness as if one were inherently superior. Both times are gifts from God. Both can display the holiness we are pursuing
in this messy Corinthian church — and in our own messy lives. The key is contentment.
So let me speak directly to several groups this morning.
- To the
engaged: Talk honestly with one another and with mature believers. If the Lord gives you peace to move
forward, marry and glorify Him together. If present circumstances suggest delay,
wait faithfully and use this season to cultivate self-control and
devotion.
- To
those who feel called to singleness for a season or for life: Stand firm. Your choice is not second-class, and you
have the potential for undivided focus on the Lord’s work. Walk in that freedom with joy.
- To
widows and widowers: You’re free in the Lord to remarry if you choose. But don’t rush. Seek first the kingdom. Many of you have already discovered the
sweetness of undistracted communion with Christ; cherish that gift.
May we all cultivate contentment in the Lord. Fulfillment doesn’t come from our marital status,
but from Christ, who is enough in every season.
May the same Spirit who guided Paul guide us as we seek holiness from
the messes of life — whether married or unmarried — for the glory of our risen
Lord.
[1] John MacArthur Jr., Ed., The MacArthur Study Bible,
electronic ed., (Nashville, TN: Word Pub., 1997), 1740.
[2] Roy E. Ciampa and Brian S. Rosner, The First Letter
to the Corinthians, The Pillar New Testament Commentary, (Grand
Rapids, MI; Cambridge, U.K.: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 2010),
355.
[3] Ibid., 356–357.
[4] Ibid., 358–359.
[5] Ibid., 359.
[6] David K. Lowery, The
Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, 1985, 2, 520.
[7] The “classical distinction between -εω (non-causative) and -ιζω (causative) verbs was no longer valid in the Koiné period.” Ronald Trail, An Exegetical Summary of 1 Corinthians 1–9,
(Dallas, TX: SIL International, 2008), 310.
[8] Ciampa and Rosner, 356–357.
[9] Ibid., 364.
[10] Ibid., 366.
[11] David Prior, The Message of 1 Corinthians: Life in the Local Church,
The Bible Speaks Today, (Leicester, England; Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity
Press, 1985), 138–139.
[12] Ciampa and Rosner, 364.
[13] John D. Barry, Douglas Mangum, Derek R. Brown, Michael
S. Heiser, Miles Custis, Elliot Ritzema, Matthew M. Whitehead, Michael R.
Grigoni, and David Bomar, Faithlife Study Bible, (Bellingham, WA:
Lexham Press, 2012, 2016), 1 Co 7:39.
[14] Trail, 312.
[15] MacArthur, 1740.
[16] Barry, et. al., 1 Co 7:40.
[17] Andrew David Naselli, Romans–Galatians, 2020, X, 287.
[18] Lowery, 520–521.
[19] Naselli, 289.