SERMON: “To Marry, or Not to Marry: Part 1” (1 Cor. 7:25–35)
“To Marry, or Not to Marry: Part 1”
(1 Cor. 7:25–35)
Series: “1 Cor: Holiness from Messes” #26 Text: 1
Corinthians 7:25–35
By: Shaun Marksbury Date: April 25, 2026
Venue: Living Water Baptist Church Occasion: AM Service
Introduction
When a couple falls in love, it feels as though nothing can
go wrong. As the weeks and months pass,
the guy and the gal have seen each other in every conceivable setting and mindsets. They’ve argued and reconciled, laughed and
cried. So, when they consider the big
question of marriage, they think no obstacle is too high.
They may even skip pre-marital counseling, thinking they’ve considered
everything needing discussion. Sometimes,
that may be true. Still, we offer counseling
services here because we know that there’s always more to consider, and fights to
be avoided. There are always situations
and scenarios that we don’t consider before rushing in to say, “I do,” but preparation
will make for a better road ahead.
That is what Paul is getting at in these verses. Last time, we thought about how to walk
difficult roads. Sometimes hikes are more
pleasant with a family at our side, but rugged terrain can test everyone’s
endurance. Paul tells us not to abandon
our commitments, but it’s easy sometimes to idolize changes or to seek
advantages that we don’t need. The Lord is
with us, allowing us to experience contentment where we are and patience to get
through any trials. Yet, we must
consider this ahead of time.
Knowing that there are difficult roads ahead might cause
some who are considering marriage to pause, seeing how hard times can challenge
relationships. Now, some look at this
passage and see the Apostle Paul saying “Don’t get married.” However, we’ve seen his high view of marriage
in Ephesians 5, and we clearly read him here saying that people who marry are
not in sin. Paul certainly isn’t saying
that singleness is the only valid option for Christians (though some ascetics
think it’s holier to not have a spouse).
Yet, we cannot read Paul as saying marriage is the best
option, either. There were problems that
the Corinthians were facing that were pressing upon them. They were currently walking a difficult road
together as a congregation. This was a
temporary situation, of course, but it is one that warranted examination before
making life-altering choices such as marriage.
Marriage is an honorable institution, so it must not be entered
without consideration. Those considering
marriage must know their present circumstances (vv. 25–28), their priorities in
this life (vv. 29–31), and their devotion to the Lord (vv. 32–35). Let’s consider marriage together.
First, Those Considering Marriage Must Know Their Present Circumstances (vv.
25–28)
Now concerning
virgins I have no command of the Lord, but I give an opinion as one who by the
mercy of the Lord is trustworthy. I
think then that this is good because of the present distress, that it is good
for a man to remain as he is. Are you
bound to a wife? Do not seek to be
released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you marry, you have not sinned. And if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Yet such will have trouble in this life, and I
am trying to spare you.
There is considerable confusion over this passage, and the
identity of “virgins” here is part of the debate.[1] We can see that in Bible translations: the NET
renders this “people who have never married” (which makes sense), but the ESV
has “betrothed.” Moreover, some say this
can apply either to men or women,[2]
but the term is feminine. (The cultural reality
of that day was that, while women were expected to remain chaste, Roman men
engaged in immoralities, and this church is only about four years old.[3]) This is likely referring to young women who
were yet engaged to be married, and betrothal in those days was a contractual
obligation.[4]
The Corinthians, then, questioned Paul about what to do with
their betrothed virgin women. Perhaps
men should break the contract (which was akin to divorce, cf. Matt. 1:18–19),
and fathers should keep their daughters at home dedicated to the Lord. This would have been in keeping with what the
Corinthian ascetics thought back in v. 1 — no one should be touching women!
To answer this question, Paul treads carefully. He does not have a direct word from Jesus on
this specific question. In other words, Jesus
did not teach on this and issue directives in His earthly ministry. Yet, Paul writes as a trustworthy apostle
whose counsel is shaped by God’s mercy. His
opinion carries weight because it flows from apostolic authority. Even so, Paul makes it clear here that what
he is about to say is a wisdom issue, a piece of pastoral advice, not
necessarily a question of right and wrong.
He continues, “I think then that this is good because of the
present distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is” (v. 26). In
other words, to the question of whether a man should marry his betrothed, it would
be better for him to stay betrothed rather than to proceed with the marriage or
to break the engagement. This would
place many Corinthians in a kind of holding pattern for a period of time.
Why? Paul cites a “present
distress,” some kind of immediate pressures facing the Corinthian church. We don’t know exactly what Paul means. There was a grain famine in AD 51 that caused
food shortages for up to five years, and that would be a strain on new families.[5]
It’s also possible that “Paul
anticipated the imminent Roman persecutions which began within 10 years after
this epistle was written.”[6]
In either event, it would be better to
consider one’s current state and the advantages of facing difficulty without
worrying about the wellbeing of a spouse and children.
Paul is not issuing a universal rule against marriage. First, in v. 27, he commands, “Are you bound
to a wife? Do not seek to be released.” If this refers to divorce, he is saying not
to end marriages. There’s also reason to
believe he’s addressing those contractually binding betrothals; in that case, he
is saying that those who are bound do not need to seek dissolution of the
engagement.[7] Either way, Paul is not commanding singleness;
he is simply saying that there is cause for delaying marriage.
On the other hand, he also says, “Are you released from a
wife? Do not seek a wife.” Paul essentially advises those without a
bride for whatever reason not to seek a new one. In giving his Spirit-guided counsel tailored
to their situation, he is commending the state of singleness. There is trouble coming, and Christians
should not ignore what’s happening around them in the name of love to rush into
marriage. Stability in your present
calling honors the Lord.
Again, this is advice, and v. 28 bears that out for us. He says, “But if you marry, you have not
sinned.” If a Christian is divorced for biblical
reasons, or has perhaps lost a spouse to illness, he or she is not required to
remain single. (Incidentally, this goes
back to what I said a few weeks ago: it is sometimes permissible to divorce,
and under such circumstances, it is permissible to remarry.) Paul goes on to say the same of the virgin —
the betrothed person who has never married before — she has not sinned. Two people considering the consequences of a
hard road ahead and deciding to marry are not in sin.
Some Christians today act as though this were not true. I’m not talking about those who would
advocate sin, almost like the Corinthians, telling young people that they need
to be wild and sow their oats in the world before settling down to
marriage. No, there is a certain wisdom
to delaying marriage for a number of reasons — education, employment, finances,
etc. — and some statistics say that getting married and having children too
young can lead to difficulty and higher rates of divorce. However, there are also problems with delaying
marriage indefinitely, temptation not the least among them, and it is legitimate
and acceptable for two young people to consider this counsel and still decide
to marry.
Yet, Paul does give a sober warning here, at least to the
Corinthians. He says, “Yet such will
have trouble in this life.” This literally
means “affliction in the flesh.”[8] Just naturally speaking, there’s a big
difference between two people seeing each other occasionally and two people
living together; sinners learning to become one flesh will have some trouble
and conflicts[9] (especially if they are
young and still learning life in general).
In times of crisis, those pressures intensify, and a spouse and
children can become precious burdens in times of persecution and external
distress.
Paul’s heart here is pastoral. He says, “I am trying to spare you.” Like a wise father, he wants to protect his
spiritual children from unnecessary hardship.[10] Again, he’s not saying this from an anti-marriage
standpoint; Christians can experience wonderful sanctification and growth as
they work out their differences in marriage.
Indeed, and the older wisdom of marriage — that two young people learn
how to be adults and live life together — still holds true today. Yet, he is pro-wisdom, knowing that in the
“present distress” will add complications to marriage.
We need to consider such things before saying “I do.” Indeed, if we marry without proper preparation,
we may be tempted to sin by getting divorced for the wrong reasons. That will throw off our obedience to God, which
is the next consideration.
Second, Those Considering Marriage Must Know Their Priorities in This Life
(vv. 29–31)
But this I say,
brothers, the time has been shortened, so that from now on those who have wives
should be as though they had none; and those who cry, as though they did not
cry; and those who rejoice, as though they did not rejoice; and those who buy,
as though they did not possess; and those who use the world, as though they did
not make full use of it. For the form of this world is passing away.
Paul shifts with a solemn declaration here that challenges what
we see as important. First, he uses the phrase,
“the time has been shortened.” He doesn’t
mean he expects the Lord to return within months — otherwise, he wouldn’t talk
at all about marriage or about his plans for visiting them later.[11]
Rather, he’s echoing the New Testament’s
theme for the entire period between Christ’s first and second comings is the
last days. He’s saying Christians must
live in light of Christ’s return.[12]
Time is limited. Elsewhere,
Paul says, “And do this, knowing the
time, that it is already the hour for you to awaken from sleep; for now
salvation is nearer to us than when we believed” (Rom. 13:11). Every moment for the Lord counts.
How does that look?
Paul gives five clauses in the following verses to illustrate how we
must reorder our priorities. First,
he says believers must live with a holy detachment from marriage: “those
who have wives should be as though they had none.” Of course, Paul isn’t contradicting himself by
calling for divorce or sexual neglect.
Again, in Ephesians 5:25, he commands husbands to love their wives as
Christ loved the church.
Even so, he is insisting that our ultimate allegiance is to
the Lord — marriage must never become an idol that crowds out devotion to
Christ. What if my spouse is in a season
of sin — do I follow the sin or the Savior?
Our love for spouse is real and commanded, but it remains secondary to
our love for Jesus.
Second, he says believers must have a holy detachment
from their emotions. In v. 20, he says
it in two clauses: “and those who cry, as though they did not cry; and those
who rejoice, as though they did not rejoice.”
Life brings sorrow and joy, gain and loss. Paul does not demand Stoic indifference, for he
himself wept and rejoiced (Rom. 12:15; 2 Cor. 2:4).
Yet in light of eternity, we must not be controlled by
earthly emotions. It is possible to
control our emotions rather than be controlled by them, and those who might place
their feelings about marriage over their feelings about God must reorient
themselves. There may be times of sorrow,
perhaps over a relationship, when a Christian feels as though he cannot serve
the Lord; God will give us the strength to do so. There may also be times when we are elated,
but that can become a distraction if we’re not willing to march into another
spiritual battle if God calls us to do so.
Within families, couples may need to set aside their personal emotions
at times for the sake of service to one another, and parents will have to do so
with children, all to the glory of God.
Third, he says that believers must a holy detachment from
possessions. Paul finishes v. 30, “and
those who buy, as though they did not possess.”
Our possessions can also become a distraction to service. We can thank the Lord for our blessings, but
we must hold them with an open hand. We
can’t allow potential loss, perhaps through persecution, to keep us from
ministry. Sometimes, Christians must
make decisions that are not best for our possessions, even if our families
protest.
Fourth, he says that believers must a holy detachment
from the world. Verse 31 concludes
the thought: “and those who use the world, as though they did not make full use
of it.” We may rightly enjoy the good
gifts of creation, especially as our families grow, but we must not be
engrossed in them. As Paul warns, the
“form” of this world — the outward pattern, the whole system of values,
priorities, and structures — is temporary.[13] It’s passing away, fading into darkness. Therefore, we live lightly attached, with our
eyes fixed on the eternal.
This detachment should mark every Christian, but Paul notes
it is especially strategic for the unmarried in a time of distress.[14]
Think of a missionary in a dangerous
context — it is far easier for a single person to work because there is not a
family to worry about and to worry about him.
The Apostle Paul and many others used their singleness as a gift for the
glory of God.
Yet the principle applies to all — live as those whose true
citizenship is in heaven. Married life
doesn’t mean that there isn’t opportunities to serve God, even within the
home. Even so, those who know the Lord
must also know that their home, family, and everything else must be properly
ordered. The most important thing for
our kids isn’t that they get more stuff — it’s that they see mom and dad dedicated
to the Lord and to each other.
And that brings us to the final point:
Third, Those Considering Marriage Must Know Their Devotion to the Lord (vv.
32–35)
But I want you to
be free from concern. One who is
unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the
Lord. But one who is married is
concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his
interests have been divided. The woman
who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord,
that she may be holy both in body and spirit. But one who is married is concerned about the
things of the world, how she may please her husband. Now this I say for your own benefit, not to
put a restraint upon you, but to promote propriety and undistracted devotion to
the Lord.
The pastoral Paul says he wants them “free from concern” or
“anxieties” (ESV). It’s not that he expects
that they can be carefree, as that is impossible in this life. He wants us free from the dividing
anxieties that pull us in competing directions. In the account of story of Mary and Martha in
Luke 10:40–41, Jesus rebukes Martha for being anxious about many things rather
than choosing devotion to Him like Mary had.[15] Whatever station of life we’re in has inherent
concerns, but we should not allow anything upset our devotion to the Lord.
A single person can do this in a particular way. He says, “One who is unmarried is concerned
about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord.” It’s not that married people can’t be
concerned about the things of the Lord, obviously, but in the time of distress,
single people might have freedom from anxiety a family would cause.[16]
Even in good times, single people will
generally have more focused freedom, being able to decide to engage in ministry
or studies without needing to care for another person in the home. Without the daily responsibilities of pleasing
a spouse, he or she can devote undivided attention to the Lord.
The contrast is striking in the next verses. “But one who is married is concerned about
the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests have
been divided” (vv. 33–34a). By “world”
here, Paul doesn’t necessarily mean that marriage is “worldliness” and therefore
sinful,[17]
but only that it can’t entirely be about heavenly things. The married man must (rightly) care
for his wife’s needs — provision, protection, and affection — the concerns God
calls us to have in the home.[18]
Yet, these concerns do divide his interests. The Greek perfect tense “have been divided”
emphasizes a lasting condition that began the moment he married, as the LSB
translation notes point out here. Once
the covenant of marriage begins, there is competition in the minds of both
spouses between service to God and to one another. That’s not to say it’s wrong, but it can be
challenging to work through, especially in times of distress.
Paul then slowly comes back around to the question about the
betrothed (and to single people). He
says, “The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the
things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit.” Paul takes care to address both men and women,
for singleness offers a unique opportunity for holiness for women as well as
men. Obviously, the “unmarried” must
refer here to those who have lost their spouses to death or permissible
divorce, a separate category from the betrothed virgin.[19] In either situation, they can be “holy” or “set
apart” to God “both in body and spirit” — meaning devotion of the whole person.[20]
Marriage does not make such devotion impossible, but it does
multiply the legitimate claims upon our time, energy, and affections. That’s why Paul closes this verse with the
words “But one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how
she may please her husband.” This isn’t
condemnation, though we think through how to keep God above all.
Paul closes the section with tender clarity. He says he’s writing “for your own benefit,”
and his desire isn’t “to put a restraint upon you.” In other words, he isn’t laying a noose around
anyone’s neck[21]
by forbidding marriage or declaring it second-class.
He’s laboring for our good.
He wants “to promote propriety and undistracted devotion to the Lord.” His pastoral advice is that we might live in
a way that is proper, fitting, and marked by single-minded devotion to Christ. And, for some, marriage will even help them to
do that, being able to be undistracted from immoralities (v. 2). In a world of distractions, Paul wants every
believer — married or single — to enjoy the freedom of an undistracted heart.
Conclusion
I hope it’s clear that Paul is not anti-marriage, and he
wants existing marriages to continue and thrive. Yet, there are some issues he wants believers
to think through before getting married.
He’ll continue that advice in the remaining verses of this chapter, but
it’s clear that he’s of the opinion that the time isn’t right for new
marriages. Those who choose to get
married aren’t in sin, but they must consider the ramifications of their present
circumstances, their priorities, and their wholehearted devotion to the Lord
Jesus Christ.
These are issues we should always consider. If you are single and considering marriage,
ask yourself some questions: Do I know the pressures of our present moment? Are my priorities properly aligned, keeping
God first, or am I making an idol out of marriage? Am I living with eternity in view? Is my heart set on pleasing the Lord above
all?
If you are already married, you’re not off the hook! Consider whether your marriage is currently exalting
devotion to Christ. Order your loves
rightly — the Lord first, spouse second, kids third, and all else in its proper
place.
May we all live firmly fixed upon the coming King. This world is fading and the time is short. Let’s be a people devoted to the glory of our
great God and Savior, Jesus Christ.
[1] Roy E. Ciampa and Brian S. Rosner, The First Letter to the Corinthians, The
Pillar New Testament Commentary, (Grand Rapids, MI; Cambridge, U.K.: William B.
Eerdmans Publishing Company, 2010), 328.
[2] J. I. Packer, Wayne Grudem, and Ajith Fernando, Eds., ESV Global Study Bible, (Wheaton, IL:
Crossway, 2012), 1614.
[3] Roy E. Ciampa and Brian S. Rosner, The First Letter to the Corinthians, The
Pillar New Testament Commentary, (Grand Rapids, MI; Cambridge, U.K.: William B.
Eerdmans Publishing Company, 2010), 331–332.
[4] Andrew David Naselli, Romans–Galatians, 2020, X, 284.
[5] Ibid., 284–285.
[6] John MacArthur Jr., Ed., The MacArthur Study Bible, electronic ed., (Nashville, TN: Word
Pub., 1997), 1739.
[7] F. Alan Tomlinson, CSB
Study Bible: Notes, 2017, 1822.
[8] Legacy Standard
Bible, (Three Sixteen Publishing, 2022).
[9] MacArthur.
[10] Ciampa and Rosner, 342.
[11] Ibid., 345.
[12] Packer, et. al., 1614–1615.
[13] John D. Barry, Douglas Mangum, Derek R. Brown, Michael
S. Heiser, Miles Custis, Elliot Ritzema, Matthew M. Whitehead, Michael R.
Grigoni, and David Bomar, Faithlife Study
Bible, (Bellingham, WA: Lexham Press, 2012, 2016), 1 Co 7:31.
[14] David K. Lowery, The
Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures, 1985, 2, 519.
[15] Ciampa and Rosner, 350.
[16] MacArthur, 1740.
[17] Ronald Trail, An
Exegetical Summary of 1 Corinthians 1–9, (Dallas, TX: SIL International,
2008), 300.
[18] MacArthur.
[19] Barry, et. al., 1 Co 7:34.
[20] Ibid.
[21] Naselli, 286.